Give Yourself Permission To Say NO

“We must say “no” to what, in our heart, we don’t want. We must say “no” to doing things out of obligation, thereby cheating those important to us of the purest expression of our love. We must say “no” to treating ourselves, our health, our needs as not as important as someone else’s…”

― Suzette R. Hinton, author of The Sound Of My Life.

As a practising physician, I see a lot of misery and struggle, conflict and self-doubt. It can be quite dangerous, as I have written elsewhere. The person who tends to get cancer—the so-called “cancer personality”—is someone who gives little priority to self, is a people pleaser, self-effacing and overburdened with care for others.

Basically such a person has no life of their own; she (usually female) is so busy running around after other people, she has no time for her own needs and desires. Yet such a person will rarely complain. They bottle up their frustration and that’s what is dangerous. Stress has to come out some way or other. If it doesn’t come out with yelling and demanding attention, it just manifests in a different direction: typically a disease, such as blood pressure, heart attack, or the dreaded cancer.

Beware!

A little known study carried out some years ago looked at this issue and found certain women had a great deal of trouble saying “No”. Even if what was demanded was something she didn’t like, even hated, she would go ahead and comply anyway. But this is an act of injury against the self. It may be justified as duty or “helping others” but it is still an injurious willingness to ignore the self and its needs.

Saying NO reduces stress considerably!

The researchers took the typical cancer personality case and had the woman practice saying “No!” to things she didn’t like, and sticking to it. The results of this intervention were startling. The women who said NO (and meant it) lived many years longer, on average, than those who could not bring themselves to do it.

So for some people, saying “No” is a good start in creating a new and satisfying life. Are you a people pleaser? Do you have little time for yourself and your own needs?

Time to change. And make no mistake, you need to change, otherwise you may die before your time.

Don’t let fear of rejection rule your choices. Some women are afraid that saying NO would lead to rejection; that every time she says NO, she would disappoint someone, make them angry, hurt their feelings, or appear unkind or rude.

But this is really letting other people’s opinion of you rule your own choices. Not good!

You need to know that the world won’t end if you say NO and someone gets mad at you.

“Men are expected to assert themselves and speak their mind; that’s what gives them status in our society,” says social psychologist Susan Newman, author of The Book of No. “They learn to say ‘no’ early on because if they don’t, they’re labeled wimps.”

Here’s a simple hack anybody can do. Take a sheet of paper or an index card and write on it I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO SAY NO TO: in big letters. Then start writing all the things that you need to start saying NO to.

Tasks you don’t like; routines that are not shared equally with others; things you find demeaning; things that are not really part of your inner world (football maybe, cars, beer swilling, TV programs, having the neighbors round for dinner, lewd topics or gossiping about others). It’s your list, you choose!

And that’s the key. You are choosing. You can even say YES once in a while. Providing you can say NO and stick to it, then saying YES is not nearly so hurtful. You have a choice.

When you can’t say NO, you’ve lost that power of choice. Do you see the difference?

If you can say NO, then saying YES is an act of love. You do it for the right reasons.

If you want to engage others (and you should) stick your list on the fridge door and make certain persons read it and acknowledge the new you! But you must stick to it! Being yelled at may not kill you. But I’ve explained that saying YES when you don’t mean to could. In fact yelling back has some power of healing. You are standing up for yourself. Just make sure you get rapidly beyond that stage and stand your ground courageously.

If the person who puts great demands on you says they love you, they shouldn’t mind you taking a stand. If he/she doesn’t really seem to love you, or won’t grant you the status to run your own life, then, well, what can I say?

Try the Supernoetics® Four Magic Questions to reduce or eliminate the conflicts. Or pack your bags and look stern! You may find the other person backs down for a change, instead of you.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Helpful Tips

Chantalle Blikman (tinybuddha.com) gives several helpful tips for saying No:

  1. Be direct, such as “No, I can’t” or “No, I don’t want to.”
  2. Don’t apologize and give all sorts of reasons.
  3. Don’t lie. Lying will most likely lead to guilt—and remember, this is what you are trying to avoid feeling.
  4. Remember that it is better to say NO now than be resentful later.
  5. Be polite, such as “Thank you for asking.”
  6. Practice saying NO. Imagine a scenario and then practice saying no either by yourself or with a friend. This will get you feeling a lot more comfortable with saying no.
  7. Don’t say “I’ll think about it” if you don’t want to do it. This will just prolong the situation and make you feel even more stressed.

Remember that your self-worth does not depend on how much you do for other people. If you don’t stand up for yourself you’ll just feel pathetic and/or guilty. It’s about setting boundaries, if you think about it. Melody Beattie, author of Beyond Codependency and more, explains that “guilt can prevent us from setting the boundaries that would be in our best interests, and in other people’s”.

Dr. Keith’s Experiment (Join In!)

What I’d like is all you wonderful people out there to help me out with a mass experiment. It’s easy and could change your life entirely. It could even SAVE your life, as I have explained.

I have prepared an “I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSSION TO SAY NO TO:” blank list. I want you all to download it, fill it out (start working on it, of course) and tell me what happens (email: info-at-supernoetics-dot-com).

The idea is that if you find this document a helpful lead, then I’ll print up some super “Say NO!” cards and get them out there in the world.

Your help could be valuable.

8 core values that make Supernoetics the Golden Path to Your Dreams

 

  1. We do have the techniques. That’s not even a question. We CAN do everything we claim to do. Not only that but we can do more and do it faster than any other system of thought and action.
  2. We are great people to be doing this. We love healing, camaraderie, achievement, compassion, understanding and wisdom. We are a community, not a business. We EAT these values, BREATHE them and sleep on them, EVERY NIGHT!
  3. We are dedicated to learning more and more about how life works, how people think, why they behave as they do and how to change and transform them into what they yearn to be. Winners never stop learning; real learners never stop winning.
  4. We are not tied to old dogmas. We have no hackneyed, old and worn-out rituals to foist onto people. We are a bright new, fresh and evolving rapidly. Dogma is almost the exact opposite of the wisdom we are seeking. Look around you and you will see the old ways are just not working. Something has to change. We are the EMBODIMENT of change! (We have the Protocols for Change and Human Transformation™!)
  5. We are straightforward, honest and easy to deal with. There are no hidden tricks or extras. WWSIWYG (what we say is what you get!) Nobody is coerced and if the fit isn’t right, we part ways affectionately. We are not a cult which says, “You are free to go any time,” but then says, “Trying to leave shows you are sick and foolish.”
  6. Our system is based on a core set of axioms or “Propositions Of Being”, which are profound and yet simple; exciting, yet far-reaching in their impact. These put consciousness at the core of experience and explain how these fundamental building blocks create the world we experience.
  7. Our unique “thought structures” will take you further along the path than any guru ramblings, religious supposed-to ritual or New Age psychobabble. There really are configurations in the mind which, once mastered, will enable you to rise to a new level of problem-solving and successful action.
  8. Dr. Keith, the Creator of Supernoetics®, is a member of MENSA, the high IQ club. And whereas he doesn’t say you can have a staggering IQ, he does teach the idea of “adaptive intelligence”; that is, brilliance in thought and action AS APPLIED TO LIFE! What could be smarter or more intelligent than starting to get the outcomes you desire?

 

Is this proof the brain is NOT the seat of consciousness?

The brain is only real in 3-dimensions. We can all agree about that.

But now scientists are trying to claim our knowing and awareness exists in 11 dimensions. Isn’t that just another way of saying that mind and Being is non-material and NOT brain-based?

The so-called Blue Brain Project claims to have discovered a multi-dimensional universe in brain networks. This is being billed as “ground-breaking work that is beginning to reveal the brain’s deepest architectural secrets.”

The research, published 12th June 2017 in Frontiers in Computational Neuroscience, claims (they say “shows”) that these structures arise when a group of neurons forms a clique: each neuron connects to every other neuron in the group in a very specific way that generates a precise geometric object. The more neurons there are in a clique, the higher the dimension of the geometric object.

“We found a world that we had never imagined,” says neuroscientist Henry Markram, director of Blue Brain Project and professor at the EPFL in Lausanne, Switzerland, “there are tens of millions of these objects even in a small speck of the brain, up through seven dimensions. In some networks, we even found structures with up to eleven dimensions.”

Markram suggests this may explain why it has been so hard to understand the brain. “The mathematics usually applied to study networks cannot detect the high-dimensional structures and spaces that we now see clearly.”

If a 3 or 4 dimensional world stretches our imagination, worlds with 5, 6 or more dimensions are too complex for most of us to comprehend. This is where algebraic topology comes in: a branch of mathematics that can describe systems with any number of dimensions. The mathematicians who brought algebraic topology to the study of brain networks in the Blue Brain Project were Kathryn Hess from EPFL and Ran Levi from Aberdeen University.

“Algebraic topology is like a telescope and microscope at the same time. It can zoom into networks to find hidden structures – the trees in the forest – and see the empty spaces – the clearings – all at the same time,” explains Hess.

In 2015, Blue Brain published the first digital copy of a piece of the neocortex – the most evolved part of the brain and the seat of our sensations, actions, and consciousness. In this latest research, using algebraic topology, multiple tests were performed on the virtual brain tissue to show that the multi-dimensional brain structures discovered could never be produced by chance.

Experiments were then performed on real brain tissue in the Blue Brain’s wet lab in Lausanne confirming that the earlier discoveries in the virtual tissue are biologically relevant and also suggesting that the brain constantly rewires during development to build a network with as many high-dimensional structures as possible.

It all sounds very plausible, except for one thing: why does the brain suddenly erect 11-dimensional structures? In response to what?

Neuroscience has long struggled to find where the brain stores its memories (because it doesn’t). “They may be ‘hiding’ in high-dimensional cavities,” Henry Markram speculates. So, in non-material dimensions then, Markram!

Note that extra mathematical dimensions are pure abstractions; they do not actually exist, except to make formulas balance up when the formula is otherwise WRONG!

Website: http://www.frontiersin.org/

Aristotle at my back

Today I had a quite overwhelming experience.

I walked around Aristotle’s Lyceum in Athens. I suddenly knew with total certainty I have been there before, strolling and debating the Big Issues. I was one of the so-called peripatetic philosophers!

Wave after wave of emotion hit me, in one of the most complete déjà vu experiences I have ever had. It took me by surprise.

I have no idea why. I have long known I was in Ancient Athens and was joined here by a spirit companion, with whom I still share my thoughts, visions and research.

Even so, this morning caught me totally by surprise. I was so overcome with flood of pictures (MIMPs) and emotions I had to sit down and recover.

Viv said she could feel the energies too, incidentally.

It’s a very modest site, as you can see, with only scant archeological remains of what was perhaps the most important location in the whole history of Mankind. Here Aristotle and his fellow thinkers (me included!) thrashed out the whole structure of Western scientific thought. Aristotelean logic was to stand for the next 18 centuries and Aristotle himself remained the preeminent thinker in just about every discipline of human knowledge, from astronomy and cosmology, to math, logic, medicine and physics.

With the exception of Sir Isaac Newton, there has never been a mind the equal of Aristotle. To just feel his presence was very unnerving.

He was suddenly very close indeed.

The Make It NOW Timeline Technique

The Make It NOW Timeline Technique (MINT)

The key to making the sweeping transformations that we have been able to accomplish in Supernoetics® piloting lies in our specialized handling of the timeline. It has simply been supposed that—since memory is the problem—we start by remembering things that troubled us. No! This is wrong.

We have to travel the timeline. See, just remembering 1953 (or “the time we were in Rome”, etc.) pushes 1953 back there, into history. It retreats from our grasp. Remembering creates a rift, the contrast of time-present and time-then.

But to BE THERE, in 1953, brings it right into the client’s face, right here, NOW! It’s rather like driving a car back to the year 1953, stepping out of the car and looking around. We ask the client: What do you see, feel, hear?

We can tell from the language used and the bodily expressions that the person is re-living or fully re-experiencing the moment and that is crucial to success. He or she becomes the roving journalist, reporting back to base!

The difference between the client doing this by chance, or actually making him or her perform, is the difference between abreaction therapies and piloting. There have been occasional successes and recoveries. Now, at last, we have a fully developed technique that can accomplish results time after time.

This “Make it NOW” approach was developed by me over two decades ago (I actually demonstrated it live on BBC Radio Manchester in 1981) but in recent years science has caught up. Researchers are speaking of the process of memory consolidation: the literal re-creating of memory, full on. And—surprise, surprise—they have found that memory is very plastic and moldable at that precise moment.

We can “adjust” the memory to suit… strip it of pain and hurt, emotional charges, irrationality, guilt etc.

Nothing does this stripping of charge better or faster than the use of DEEP processing, developed by Beer and Dane.

A New You

supernoetics-banner-1200x600v2

We are all the product of our past. There’s no getting away from that.

We’ve found a way to quickly and permanently re-engineer that past, so that it’s different. Your whole experience of life up to this point is transformed! Supernoetics® does this rather easily and permanently.

The result is inevitable: a new YOU!

If you feel differently about the past, you’ll feel different about everything, including your future. You know that makes sense. In fact it’s a Supernoetics® saying, we all live twice: the life you have had up till now and then the life from this point on. They do not have to be the same!